Have you ever sabotaged yourself? I bet you have. I know I have. Sometimes, it is a conscious action that makes everything much harder. Other times I only notice the self-sabotage when the outcome is different than what I expected.
How do I self-sabotage?
This can happen when I don’t trust myself or believe in my ability to attain a goal. I certainly notice this when it comes to my writing. I do not always protect my writing time, a form of procrastination. I have a deadline to complete my blog on Monday so that it can be posted on Wednesday. I have the entire weekend to sit down and unhurriedly write but I don’t do it until Monday when it must be done. As I look at this behavior, I believe it stems from a desire that “it” be perfect.
Hmmmmm……so I delay because I know it will not be perfect. Wow!
Well, this is not working for me.
So, what to do about it?
I believe that change happens in small doses. How can I break down this self-sabotaging behavior in a way that doesn’t overwhelm me or make me feel guilty?
I will start with something that is working for me – something I enjoy. In general, I like to schedule my time. If it’s on my schedule I’m motivated to do it. I enjoy getting it done. So, I am going to schedule an hour of writing time each day. By honoring this scheduled writing time, I am working on procrastination.
What can I do about perfectionism?
I think this arises from my internal critical voice and self-judgment. I know I see the world from my own unique viewpoint, and that this is not always in sync with the viewpoints of others. This should be okay, after all, “variety is the spice of life”. But as I write this, I keep having the thought that I want others to like me. If they do not like my thinking, they will not like me. If the blog is not perfect, they won’t like me. But if the blog is perfect is this any guarantee? Probably not. With this insight in mind, I need to start letting go.
This coming week I will start to book an hour of writing time in my schedule each day. I will start to embrace my unique viewpoint and work on loosening the hold of perfectionism. This may take some time.
I am a work in progress! How about you?